Spilled Almond Oil

Woke around 8 and got ready for class. I think. It's a let down that I can't even remember what I was doing just twenty hours ago. I think it says something about my perception of time - I have too many thoughts crammed into such short periods.

I went to math, and learned that we were studying matrices. The Jewish girl who sits next to me is real funny, I don't know why. She doesn't even say anything or do anything and I find her interesting. Maybe it's because she's one of the only peopleI have had the pleasure of sitting so damn close to in months.

After class I went home, and prepared to go get a new student I.D. and didn't expect to be home a little before work at 6. I went to Access Services, but was $15 shy of what it took to get a new card, so I went to the library and watched Raise the Red Lantern until I found a scene to write about. I found it. I didn'ta go to the library though, maybe I went home first and got money to go get a new I.D. I think I must have, because I wasn't allowed to take out any materials from the library without my I.D. Yeah, it must have been the latter way. Fast forward to Chemistry, and I found myself laughing when Dr. Kenney said something to the extent that Quantum Mechanics was easy. It was ironic because last night I watched a documentary that really pounded in the point that nobody can explain Quantum Mechanics. I just couldn't keep from laughing out loud for about a minute. I kept looking back at Kelsey, it seemed like she was sitting alone. I think I'll go sit with her next class, because I have a strong feeling we could talk and I might actually make a friend. Huzzah.

After class I went back to the library, and took even more detailed notes about the scene I had chosen, because I wasn't going to be able to watch it again until the next morning and needed the material. Otherwise I would have nothing to write about. Kind of like trying to bullshit your way through an essay about Classical Continuity vs. Soviet Montage, when the only images such words conjure are stringed instruments with abnormally long necks vs. factory commies with film cameras in one hand and scythes in the other while they electrocute an elephant till its skin sizzles black and white.

I had to close at the cafe all on my own tonight. When I first got there nobody could be seen working, just the sign saying that "be back". Turns out she was having a conversation about neurons and creative cognitive functions. Interesting stuff. Christina, at least I believe that's her name, came in and we talked about how insanely difficult Chemistry was. Turns out she transferred to Case from NYU. My figurative jaw dropped, because if there's anywhere I wish I could have gone, NYU might have been it. I would still like to, because I feel like I might be a good fit in that type of program. Film and writing and all that jazz. She's a sophomore too it turns out, and I think she has a real good look to her. Premed. I ended the conversation though when I asked what she would like, and she just got a refill. Fuck me. I ended up being a little late closing, and didn't leave until 10:20. Walked home with Melissa while smoking a lucky.

That's what I forgot, I had gone to little Italy to buy some cigarettes. I know I was going to try and quit this week, but come on - that coming from the world's biggest procrastinator? I was real easily duped into buying a pack of Lucky's, the shortest cigarette's I've ever seen. Yeah I bet they sell like rockets, Ms. Cigarilla.

I got home and tried to do my Chemistry homework, but only got halfway through. Then my dad tried solving the problem I stopped at, and he didn't finish for an hour. A PHD Chemist, and it took him an hour. Jesus, I didn't stand a chance. While he toiled away I went outside and talked to Garrett. I smoked another lucky, and we talked about going to Calgary and North Carolina, or how I wanted to go to Calgary and he wanted to go to North Carolina. I found my words and ideas came out a little easier than they have since the spring, and I liked it. It was the closest I've felt to how I did in the spring since, well, since the spring.

I realized I was never going to write my paper at the apartment, So I went to the library. That's where I am now, and that's where I'm going to be tonight. Now I can start.