One-Way Back

Bought a one-way ticket to LA today, I leave in two weeks. My journaling hiatus should hopefully come back to normal levels now, my absence of chronicles was due to smoky weather. I popped an Ativan with a beer today, and took a bath. I smoked too many cigarettes - this always happens. I still have not called Marilyn back, and still have not received a confirmation of withdrawal from my university. We have had record breaking heat the past week or so, and so much sunshine seems to have done me somewhat well. I am now taking 100mg doses of 5-htp twice a day, once in the morning, one before bed. I still sleep on the couch however, and still need to learn to count my days, my ways, try not to belay so deep into the conclaves of my head.

below the planet
of the apes, i found a dream of mine behind
irradiated rust
in a goldmine of
toxic lusts

the dream had formed
a congregation of
worship, mutated, and mute

they used my dream
to mutilate me, or so
they hoped

but beneath their slick skins
blood still congealed for
teeth to sink into

a lions tail flared
and i fought not to be
pushed into the light
at the end
of the dream

waking i wonder
if this is a dream
i have yet to encounter
or a mirror
facing back