Wet Feminine Distinctions

Woke up feeling wet - though I'd pissed my pants in my sleep. Just a wet dream. This was my third night of rather vivid, yet slightly restless sleep. Ladders and warehouses, going up, coming down. It is eerie how real dreams can feel - but I suppose since they're constructed of very real things, how can your subconscious directly discern the difference anyhow.

I slept in until around ten today. This is slightly late, and I didn't feel like doing much for breakfast. I wanted to take a bubble bath, so I ate a handful of nuts, a banana, and drank some milk - then took my half a Paxil. I took my bath, and then went and watched some television with Mike. Eventually we went to my house, and I made some lunch. My mum came home shortly thereafter, and I took my daily 5-htp. At one point my mum and Mike disappeared - she had walked outside with him to talk privately, very odd. She said she was telling him what a good friend he is. I suppose she's right. But not in the way that she may think. Not in the way she views friends - there's something shallow to her expectations I think. Later on I went back over to Mike's and played some video games.

Around six I came home. My mum and I called my dad, and we all talked about what's up with me. Talked about the recent shift in my mood, and whether it was caused by cutting my Paxil/Seroquel dosages in half or by the introduction of 5-htp. Secretly I fear it's because I'm bipolar, but only time will tell. I told them I didn't want to refill either of my prescriptions, but if I'm really bipolar, it's probably not a good idea. I guess I'll find out.

I cleaned the kitchen up a bit, and then made a half pesto and tomato/salsa sauce pizza. My brother has been struggling with getting his school work done, as is the case with most students. Only it's a bit tougher for him. It must be in our genes. I gave my mum a 5-htp, which made her sleepy. That was funny. I'm not sure if she was right, of if it only enhanced her fatigue from an early, long day. I guess I did sleep in afterall. My uncle J came over, and he used my computer for a bit. I took several photos of him, and tomorrow I'll try to draw a pastel based off them. He had a new hat, one similar to a hat Mike had seen on and old man and wanted for himself. Uncle J had some pizza, and said he liked it. He also had a bowl of nuts, but said no to my mum's birthday cheesecake. As it should be - cheesecake isn't all it's frosted up to be. I buttered around the kitchen as he ate his nuts, and occassionally sat down. We didn't talk much, and I occassionally talked out loud to myself. It seems odd that we didn't really talk, but it wasn't uncomfortable. More comfortable actually. Silence isn't wrong, shouldn't be odd. It's maybe expected in public, but not domestically. Then again, I'm not sure how most families behave.

I called Chelsea and talked to her for a while. She had a good time on her trip to North Carolina, I think she really enjoyed hanging around peers - having time for them too. I wonder if she developed any crushes - I think that'd be good for her too. She got a little pissed at my remarks towards femenine distinctions, they're generally sarcastic, and there's usually some truth in sarcasm. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.

I played guitar a bit, brushed my teeth, took my half seroquel - time for more dreams about sleep.