Easy Ways, Ohio

My counseling appointment was at ten thirty today, but I struggled to roll off the couch. drank some orange juice, took half a Paxil, and ate a banana. I ran out the door, racing to make it on time. I didn't really have anything to talk to Dr. S about, so I told him that I really don't care about anything. He told me you can't really have a conversation with a person who doesn't care about anything - I told him he was right. In the end he said I seem to be telling myself I don't care, or something like that. I think he's right, I have mostly told myself I don't care about many things - when I really did. Too late for that, I couldn't care less about it. At least it's easist to feel that way, easist to live that way. It's the easy way.

I got home, and ate some chili. I took my 5-htp early, before noon. I went over and played some video games with Mike, and looked at funny things on the internet. Subconscious Eminem, ahahahaha. I came home and buttered around the house. I made a salad to eat with chili for dinner, and took another 5-htp. I moved all my pastels from the windows of the sun room, and tacked them up to the wall. It doesn't look so great, but what do you expect from half-hearted, half-hour pastels. Nothing great. I thought about doing dishes, and considered it back and forth for fifteen minutes before finally calling it a night. I took half a Seroquel, and called my dad back. He didn't think I should go off the medication, but I told him that's what I was planning on doing. My mum came down later and said she thought I should refill the Paxil prescription. I don't know what medicine I will continue to take, there's no doctor that can listen and reason. I talked to India tonight - she left school mid-semester, now we've both left Ohio and are living back in the town we started in. Wonder what it could mean.